Glutton For Punishment

RSS
This!

This!

I told Phil I love him yesterday

Not in the I am in love with you - you are the one way. In the Melissa way. He was seriously so amazing with me yesterday. And I said a lot and I explained what I meant when I said I love you. I explained why I was left with that feeling. I explained in detail what made me feel so much love for him yesterday. I explained if he was a girl and I was saying it to him then he would know exactly what I meant by it. 

His response - “That was beautiful! And I love you in many ways too”. Well there was more but that was for me =)

It was nice to be able to say I love you to a guy and mean it and it not be some big scary gesture that meant more than how I meant it.

Wednesday Truths

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. And I can’t - or won’t talk about it. But man - it’s one of those weeks were you really realize who your true friends are.

And sadly - where I realize still how amazing Phil is. I can’t get that boy out of my life - we keep grazing back to each other. I don’t know what to think about that … But I am glad I know him - always will be and he will always have a piece of my heart.

Without pain, how can we know joy?

I’m still not sure how much I believe in these, but it’s like whoever wrote this has been inside my head all weekend. Scary!

I’m still not sure how much I believe in these, but it’s like whoever wrote this has been inside my head all weekend. Scary!

Ok guys just stop!!

I would much rather a guy have back hair than it be prickly from shaving. Girls back me up here. Stop shaving it unless you are gonna laser hair it off. Back hair is ok. Prickly back not so much fun.

Serious question

Single guys with hairy backs - first, why do you shave it?

More importantly - HOW??? You can’t possibly do it yourself. Do you get a friend to do it? What??

I really need to figure this out. It’s bugging me!!

The confetti egg hunt was successful. Now my yard is a hot mess!

The confetti egg hunt was successful. Now my yard is a hot mess!

I’m broken …

So I just finished Whiskey Beach. A book by my favorite author (personally signed to me) given to me by the only man I have let see more than one side of me.

I haven’t let anyone in. If I meet a guy I keep things purely sexual - keeps them from having any desire to get to know the real me as guys are so easily distracted. Which in the end, keeps me from getting close to anyone. I know this - I know I have been doing it.

But I did let the guy that gave me this book in. We talked on skype for over 7 hours straight. It was something I needed more than I ever knew - but he was also safe - a good 8 hours away safe. I let him in. I enjoyed talking about myself. I enjoyed someone actually listening and actually wanting to get to know me, asking me questions - so much in ways that he paid attention who my favorite author was and sent me this book.

It was hard for me to read this book for lots of reasons - that man and I had some bumps in the road. And well me personally, I cannot read when I am bother by things, down on life. I start to read and my mind wonders. It took me longer than it usually would by a lot, but I finished the book. I am healing. I am getting better, less broken.

This book though invoked feelings in me that I hadn’t felt in a while. The thought of love or romance has been leaving me feeling bitter. I couldn’t even watch the sweet sappy Christmas movies this year. I turned off friends with benefit (the movie) when they decided to be more. I couldn’t stomach it. Love stories have made me want to puke.

But this one, two very broken people (in ways I could never imagine being broken), got past it with each other and fell in love. It was beautiful and wonderful and I felt something for the first time in a long time. I felt hope. Hope that maybe I won’t always be broken. That maybe I am getting near the end.

Of course, I’m still emo and PMSing. This whole post could be a crap shoot in a couple of days …

Oh the joys that come with being a woman.

It’s done. It’s finished. Symbolic for lots of reasons. Left me with tears in my eyes for lots of reasons. My only personalized signed book from my favorite author.

It’s done. It’s finished. Symbolic for lots of reasons. Left me with tears in my eyes for lots of reasons. My only personalized signed book from my favorite author.